Ep. 36 Do These and Thrive

Discover the true essence of success and redefine what it means to thrive in your own life. Are you ready to move beyond societal measures like wealth and fame? Join us as we tackle the provocative question: What does it truly mean to thrive? We argue that true success isn't simply reaching a destination but embarking on a profound journey of personal growth and purpose fulfillment. Much like a car that fails to serve its intended function, without understanding and embracing your purpose, the notion of true success remains out of reach. We challenge you to reflect on your personal definition of thriving and explore how living a life aligned with your purpose can bring genuine satisfaction and fulfillment.

Unlock the power of reinvention by mastering essential skills that transform not only your life but those around you. We delve into the critical roles of problem-solving and selflessness in consistently tapping into your potential and making a significant impact on others. Through guiding people from undesirable situations to better ones, we enhance both personal and professional success. This episode encourages shifting focus outward, documenting your experiences, and offering valuable insights, creating a ripple effect of positive change. Step into a new perspective where helping others becomes a foundation for thriving, and achieve greater fulfillment in your journey.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Unlocking True Success and Thriving
• 8:55 Developing Problem-Solving and Selling Skills

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Why do some people seem to effortlessly thrive in life, while others appear to struggle to do so? Let's discuss that today. I believe that, while there may be various factors that separate people in this area of life, when it comes to thriving are two specific, very tangible skills that, if you focus on those two today, will make a huge difference in your life and set you apart on a path to thriving. Or, if you're already thriving, if you're somebody who is already doing well, paying some more attention to these two skills in life will even set you apart even more, and that's what we're talking about today. But before I discuss these two skills and how they can help you thrive in life, why don't we first talk about what it really means to thrive? What does it mean to be a thriving person? What does thriving mean? Perhaps, before you continue listening, you want to just pause this for a few seconds and think about that for yourself. What does a thriving life mean to you? What does a thriving you look like? How different will your life be from today if you were truly, truly thriving? I'm going to tell you what I believe it means to thrive, because for me, thriving is synonymous with true success, to be a truly successful person means that you're really thriving and that means you're flourishing. It means you're blossoming. It means that when one wants to describe your life, one way they can describe your life is that you are to describe your life. One way they can describe your life is that you are breaking bounds and you are becoming everything that you can be. You are truly thriving, flourishing and blossoming. Because the thing is that society can define success for us in different ways, and one particular way that society defines success and indeed lures us or tempts us into thinking about what success truly is, is wealth. So if you're wealthy in terms of material things, if you have a fat bank account, if you have a lucrative job, then you are a successful person. And the implication of that is that you cannot be successful, you cannot thrive, if you don't have wealth, if you're not wealthy, if you don't have money, and we've seen the ills that that kind of thinking drives so many people into in society. At the very least, it makes us begin to look at people who are not doing as financially well as ourselves. We begin to look down on them, we begin to think of them as less than ourselves. We don't look at people, based on some more concrete and significant factors or values by which we can define people.

Speaker 1: 2:58

Society can also say success is fame. So the more people that know you, the more places your name is mentioned, the more famous people you walk around you. The more places your name is mentioned, the more famous people you walk around. That's the definition of your success. But there are people who are doing great things in very small circles, in parts of the world that you and I may never get to, that you and I may never hear about, but they're doing great, significant things and I believe those people are successful. So fame does not define success, even if society may want us to believe that.

Speaker 1: 3:27

So if fame and popularity, status do not define success, then what is success? What is true success? I believe true success has to be such that when you achieve it, it has to be such that when you are truly successful then you stop seeking Otherwise. It has to be such that when you are truly successful then you stop seeking. Otherwise it's not success.

Speaker 1: 3:46

If you have success as society defines it and you still have a void in your heart and you're still searching, you're still looking, there is still that desire for more in you, then you haven't found the thing that you're truly looking for. Does that mean success is a destination? Absolutely not. It means instead, success is a journey and it's a path that you walk, and when you find yourself on that path, you are growing, you're increasing, you're getting better, you're making a difference. You feel like that thing that you're looking for in your heart is being met, that desire that you have in your heart, which perhaps you may not be able to even place a finger on, you may not be able to define, but you just know that this is something you're going after in life, and when you're truly successful, you have a sense that that is being accomplished. And that's what I mean by thriving. A thriving person is a person who is truly successful and in terms of concrete terms. So how do I know that I am thriving? How do I know that a person is thriving?

Speaker 1: 4:52

There are three definitions of success which I always use, and if you've listened to some early episodes of thriving people, you have heard me talk about this. I also talk about this in my book Purpose Driven Profit. The first is that true success is defined by purpose, and by that I mean very simply that until you are fulfilling your purpose, you cannot truly be said to be successful. Purpose is your why. It's the main reason you are here. It's the thing that defines your existence. If you remove your purpose, then you no longer have a reason for being here. So you can do everything that you can do, but until you do the thing that you were sent here to do, you're not truly successful, because success is about accomplishing the thing that you were sent to do.

Speaker 1: 5:44

When a manufacturer designs a car, they either design it for carrying passengers, or they design it for carrying goods, or they design it for luxury or for being an off-road vehicle. If that vehicle say I buy a car that is supposed to be an off-road vehicle or a family car let's say family car and I decide oh oh no, this car has very nice spaces inside, I'm going to use it instead as a greenhouse. I'm going to convert it to a greenhouse because it has a lot of. It has a gas panel on the roof and and the windows on the side and the windscreen is quite wide, so there's going to be a lot of sunshine coming into this car. So I'm going to use it as a greenhouse instead of a car for which it was designed. How will the manufacturer feel if he saw me using that car for that purpose? In fact, if the car could speak, how would it feel? It will feel like a failure. It indeed would be a failure because it has not accomplished the purpose for which it was designed. So the same applies to you and I.

Speaker 1: 6:49

If we're going to be truly successful people, then we have to be people who identify our purpose and fulfill our purpose. That is what it means to be successful. The second factor that defines success is potential. Potential is what you. Potential is what you can do, is what you're capable of, and you and I have immense untapped potential. Immense untapped potential. Immense untapped potential. Immense untapped potential. Indeed, there's so much that we can do that we are not yet doing, because potential is like a seed. We carry these seeds inside of us, se seeds of things that we can do. But maybe for a variety of reasons, including chasing after society's definition of success, many people never really reach down within themselves to identify that seed that they carry, that potential that they carry, and begin to pursue it.

Speaker 1: 7:43

So you are not truly thriving until you are fulfilling your potential, until you are constantly tapping into what you're able to do and using that potential to fulfill your purpose. So this is how I define success. Success is defined by purpose the extent to which you do the thing that you were sent here to do. Success is defined by potential the extent to which you do all thing that you were sent here to do. Success is defined by potential the extent to which you do all that you can do. Finally, success is defined by productivity. By productivity I mean you are not really thriving until you're being impactful, because your purpose and your potential is way bigger than yourself.

Speaker 1: 8:22

I find that every single human purpose of our existence is more than us. It's to make a difference, it's to impact positively on other people, it's to help other people. And it is until we begin to do that, until we begin to produce those results, until we begin to make that impact, that we are truly successful. This is what I mean by thriving. This is what I mean by being successful. So how does one thrive? How does one person to accomplish this?

Speaker 1: 8:55

Seemingly effortlessly, some people seem to just work in purpose and fulfillment and redefine themselves in the sense that they are constantly doing new things, producing new things, tapping more into that well of potential which they carry doing more things and more things. You see them next year and they're doing something entirely new, something, or doing the same thing they were doing the previous year on an entirely new level that you never thought was possible, but the potential was always there. They're just tapping more and more into that potential. How do some people do that? How do some people constantly produce? How do some people constantly make an impact, change people's lives for good? I believe there are two skills, two specific skills that you and I can begin to apply today and we will be more successful because we will thrive more, because we will work more in purpose, because we will, by reaching these two skills, tap more into our shell and we will be a people who are more productive because we make more positive, positive impact in people's lives. So let's talk about these two skills.

Speaker 1: 10:04

The first of these two skills, I believe, is problem solving. The extent to which you thrive in life will depend very significantly on your problem solving skills. What skills? What do I mean by problem-solving? By problem-solving, I'm talking about your ability to help someone move from an undesirable state or a painful situation in their life towards a more desirable place in their life.

Speaker 1: 10:36

Most people you speak to today would have one thing in their life. Most people you speak to today would have one thing in their life which they know can be improved upon, which they know can be better. There would be one situation in their life which they will want to do better in. If you speak to a student, it could be that they want to make better grades. If you speak to a married person, it could be that they want to improve on their communication with their spouse. If you speak to a business person, it could simply be that they want to make more money. Even if you scratch the surface of that, there could be many more things under that surface. You listening to this today, there are things in your life that you want to improve on. The person who is able to give you a simple, step-by-step guidance on how to move from where you are closer to your desired destination is solving that problem for you. They have a problem solving skill.

Speaker 1: 11:37

Problem solving is about providing a way for people to resolve something that they really really care about, something that they really really want to resolve. It's about knowing how. It's about knowing the way. It's about knowing the way, because it's one thing to know the destination. It's one thing to know where you want to go, because it's one thing to know the destination, it's one thing to know where you want to go to. It's one thing to know, as a married person, that you want to have a better relationship with your spouse. It's one thing to know, as a professional, that you want to make more money. It's one thing to know that you want to.

Speaker 1: 12:11

For example, as we're talking today, you want to thrive in life, you want to be more successful, you want to find fulfillment. You just want a better life. You want to be more productive. It's one thing to know that, but it's an entirely different thing to know how to go from where you are, because many times, when we're right in the thick of the challenge, we're right in the middle of it. We cannot see the wood from the trees. But who's? Uh, even today, by the multitude of options that we face, because everywhere you turn there's a fresh advice. So how do I know which one to pick and which one not to pick?

Speaker 1: 12:46

The person that knows how you can go from where you are today to where you need to be has problem solving skills. So how do you, how do you develop problem solving skills? Well, first of all, perhaps before I speak to that question, it's to say to you you and I don't need to have solutions to every single problem in the world. In fact, we don't need to have many or have solutions to many problems. Just having a solution to one problem can be the key to your thriving in life, and I have found from my experience, and from other people's experience as well, that the problems we are able to solve the most are the ones that we have experienced in our lives. So the things that we have worked through, the challenges that we have overcome, the problems or the questions that we have answered in our own lives, we're able to look at the people who are facing those problems, people who are a little bit more advanced in, and provide them a solution based on our experience in that situation. And I'm convinced that for every single person listening to me today, there is a challenge. There is a problem that you have overcome, there's something that you, there's an area of life that you are a little bit more advanced in than somebody else. What you need to do is to document the process. How did you come out of it? What lessons did you learn from it? If you were to go back to that situation with the benefit of hindsight, how would you handle that situation? Put that together as a solution to those who are coming behind you. Then you will have a real, tangible solution for those people.

Speaker 1: 14:27

I find that we don't develop problem-solving skills a lot of times because we are very selfish, because we think more of ourselves. People who don't develop problem-solving skills, it's more often than not because they're thinking about themselves alone. They're not thinking about other people. So I want to challenge you to look around you today. What problems can you identify? How many of those problems have you faced yourself? How did you come out of those problems? Package that solution or package your experience of coming out of that problem as a solution, because that is the starting point of your developing, of you developing your problem solving skills. When you develop problem solving skills, it will help you. It will help you thrive and be more successful, because you provide value and money flows in the direction of value, but also it helps you fulfill your potential. You are now able to do more than you thought you could ever do. You're tapping into the resources that are within you and you are providing solutions to people who have problems. This is what it means to thrive by developing problem-solving skills.

Speaker 1: 15:39

The second skill I believe that everybody who needs to thrive in life, who wants to thrive in life, should have, is the ability to sell. So selling, I believe, is a skill that everybody who will thrive in life will of necessity need to have. Selling is about your ability to communicate the value you have, the value you have to offer to the person who needs it. Being able to communicate that value in a way that makes them take you up on your offer. Your ability to communicate the value that you have in a way that makes a person who needs it recognize that what you are offering is a solution to the problem or the challenge that they are facing, and also for them to take you up on the offer that you're making them.

Speaker 1: 16:30

We grew up with many perceptions of selling, maybe because of our experiences or the salespeople that we've encountered, or experience of buying things. So people have various ideas about selling, but the truth is, I have found that we're all always selling. Every one of us is always selling. You may say, oh no, I'm not a businessman, I'm a professional in employment, so I don't sell. But what do you think you were doing when you went for that last job interview? You were selling yourself. You were selling your skills. You were trying to convince the interviewer that you had what they were looking for. So we're always selling. We're always selling Every day in life. We're involved in negotiations. We're involved in negotiations for people to take what we have to offer, because none of us has it all. We constantly are trying to get the value that other people have to have for us so that we can use them in our lives, while hopefully, at the same time, also trying to provide some value to them. This is a very critical skill because you may have the greatest problem-solving skills in the world. If you're not able to position that skill or position that value that you have to offer in such a way that the person who need it will see it and take you up on the offer, then you will not be able to reap the benefits of having that value. You will not be able to reap the benefits of being able to solve that problem.

Speaker 1: 18:05

I believe there's a right way to think about selling. The right way to think about selling, I believe, is what I call purpose-driven selling. I talk about that in subsequent episodes. Purpose-driven selling is about selling as a service. You're selling because you're serving the people. You're selling because your intention and your desire is to help solve the problem that this person has. Your primary objective, your primary motivation, in fact, is to help this person along that journey. You know you have the solution. Your objective is not to do something to them. You're trying to do something for them. You're really trying to help them move along on their journey towards their destination.

Speaker 1: 18:51

That's the mindset that we need to have about selling, and when you develop your selling ability alongside your problem-solving skills, then you'll be very productive. You'll be productive because you're making a difference in people's lives, because they'll take you up on the offer, they'll take you up on the value which you are offering, and you would also create wealth by doing that. So these are two skills that I believe that, if you want to thrive in life, you should consider seriously developing. Look around you and ask yourself what are the problems around me that I can begin to pay a bit more attention to, particularly the ones I've been through myself? How did I go through them? What did I learn when I went through them? Package your experience as a value, as a system that you can offer to somebody who is right in the thick of that challenge. Let them see the simplicity that you have to offer. Let them see how simple it is to move along and to come out of that challenge. That's a big thing, much, much bigger than you may realize. When you've done that, learn how to communicate the value that you have to offer. Your mindset should be that you want to help them.

Speaker 1: 20:09

I believe that that's half of the battle won. You're not into selling because you want to take advantage of people or you want to manipulate them. No, you want to enrich yourself at the expense of other people. You're offering them value because you really, really want to help them, and it's only natural that value flows back to you, because that's how our world is designed, that resources flow in the direction of value. So, do you want to thrive? Go away and think about this. Think about developing problem-solving skills. Think about developing your selling skills. Learn to sell. Thank you for listening to another episode of Thriving People and God bless you Bye-bye.